Am i still normal?

quick disclaimer before you read: please put your judgments aside. it’s easy to read this and think i’m just being a crybaby or making my friends look bad, but it’s hard to relate unless you’ve been in the exact same situation. if you aren’t interested, you can totally skip this one. but if you’re willing to hear me out, let me tell you how it feels from my side.

A friend once asked me if I knew who Eminem was. I said not really. They looked at me like I was crazy and said, “Where are you? You’re too stuck in your own world.”

They didn’t explicitly say that I need to know every single trending artist or show out there, but that is exactly what their tone implied. And honestly, I hear that tone a lot.

when did the timeline matter?

I haven’t been to an Aujla concert and I still don’t get the matcha obsession. It feels like I’m constantly expected to play catch-up.

We all learn about artists and trends eventually. Maybe at 12, maybe at 20, or even 28. If I discover a famous artist today instead of five years ago, what exactly is the problem? Why does timing matter so much?

is connection just a shared screen?

I’ve never followed IPL. In a country where cricket conversations happen everywhere, that leaves me out of a lot of conversations. My friends debate matches while I just sit quietly. Present, but not really there.

I haven’t used Instagram in two years. When people reference a reel, the conversation just moves on without me. It used to make me feel disconnected, but honestly, I realized I don’t need validation from people projecting fake lives online (not everyone, but you get the point). If a friendship only survives on sending reels back and forth instead of actually talking, it’s probably not that deep anyway.

I wonder how much of our conversations are actual human connection, and how much is just confirming we’ve seen the exact same screen.

is shared consumption the price of admission?

I’ve never been to a club. The loud music and the crowds just aren’t my thing, but whenever I mention that, people look at me like I’m crazy.

I don’t judge anyone for what they watch, listen to, or how they spend their weekends. For me, it’s not just about media, it’s about my general knowledge, my personal tastes, and how I choose to spend my time. But when it comes to my choices, I still get that same disappointed, annoyed tone, even from people who already know this is just how I am.

Shared references and shared habits somehow became the price of admission. People don’t seem to care if you share their actual values, they just care if you consume the exact same content. If you haven’t watched the same shows, gone to the same places, or followed the same trends, you aren’t just different, you’re weird and out of touch.

Nobody judges you for not reading Shakespeare, but not knowing a trending artist gets you weird looks.

so what am i asking for?

My music taste and entertainment choices are just different. None of this makes me broken, it just makes me me.

Not everyone is like this, obviously. I have a few people in my life who genuinely understand me, like my parents and my childhood friend. But it feels impossible to explain that to someone who has already decided you’re missing out.

I’m never going to catch up on everything, get back on Instagram, or learn what pookie means. And that’s not the point anyway.

I never said their interests were wrong. I just wish they’d extend the same courtesy back to me.

Being different isn’t the hard part, being made to feel wrong for it is.